Agape

Daniel Reed
Phebe Shen
English 98
13 Febuary 2009

Loves Purest Form

Love is a worn out word. In America, a man’s affection towards his spouse, a close friendship, or even a strong liking for strawberry pop-tarts are all ways to experience “love.” So, what do people really mean when they say the word love and how can a person interpret its true meaning? Back when the Greek language was widely used among cultures, there were three words to describe love: Eros, Philia, and the greatest of the three, Agape. These three words, holding similar yet different meanings, are fun to explore because it helps cast a light onto a word so commonly used in America that it has nearly worn itself out and lost its significance.

Of the three loves, the most familiar and certainly the most natural is Eros. Without much logic, Eros entices people together with its tingly feelings, sweaty palms, irrational thinking, and butterflies in the stomach experiences. The surrounding environment surges with raw electricity sending direct power to their internal electromagnets hardwired inside every human being. As long as the power source remains “turned on” the result is inseparable. However, both electromagnets must remain on for an attraction to occur. If only one electromagnet is “turned on” from the experience, Eros immediately switches off in frustration. Or worse, if negative energy (harsh words) surge, the electrical current reverses directions sending the couple repelling from one another until the offender or offenders turn off the negative electricity and make amends. As a recommendation, though Eros brings about great pleasure, it is not the basis for deep, long lasting, relationships.

Philia is the Greek word for friendship or brotherly love is about building relationships rather than acquaintances. Friendship love goes beyond simply knowing an individual’s name, career, common religion, etc. It involves taking risk and discovering a common interest or vision with an individual. Though Philia is not a love required for survival, being able to rely on someone to lend a hand when in need, stand up and defend for them when they are lied about, or look out for them when they are sick is an incredible thing. Friendship love is a love that accepts regardless of what a person may have gone through, what they do as a living, whether he or she is married with a family or is divorced.

In addition, Philia when experienced with a person of the opposite sex brings about Eros quite naturally. What could be better than a person loving on their best friend? With a relationship to bounce back up on, the physical and emotional connections are closer and more in line with loving the individual rather than meeting the individuals own physical needs. Philia and Eros go hand in hand creating a powerful relationship full of intimacy and memories. However, Philia too is not perfect. Friends do make mistakes. In some cases, those mistakes cause friends to neglect, abuse, or abandon each other resulting in shattered hearts, confusion, and feelings of emptiness. As a result, one of two things often occurs. Either this leaves the wounded fearful to ever love again, or it causes them to search for a better love.

Unlike Eros or Philia, which both have their downfalls; Agape love stands independent and it is the foundation where Eros and Philia thrive. Agape love is God’s love, the purest of all loves and in fact, the embodiment of God himself, his divine nature (1). God’s love sets the rules of life, governs our convictions, and guides us from wrong. It is a patient love, willing to wait, endure rejection, and it never gives up. “It always protects, always trusts, always, hopes, always perseveres (2).” How can a human compete with a love like that? The truth is one cannot. Those who learn to receive and experience this love, learn to model it to others, but humans cannot model it on their own will because this love is no longer in their nature (3).

What happened is quite simple; selfishness, the root of all sin and the polar opposite of agape love, entered the world. People began to think they somehow deserved things and they were superior to one another. People slandered one another to make themselves feel better. Their viewpoint of the world became skewed and people no longer thought they needed to listen to others because they were better. When people made mistakes, they lied and blamed one another to hide their guilt so they wouldn’t have to admit they were in the wrong. Men and women degraded one another and used each other so they could experience instant gratification. Selfishness ruined everything intended for good by taking advantage of it and somehow thinking they deserved it more than someone else did. Unfortunately, this vicious cycle continues today. Men and women grow angry when they do not get their way. Lives are ruined, people die, all because of selfishness.

Yet, Agape, the love God intended all to experience and share, still stands in the distance proclaiming hope and life. It goes against the grain of society and says, “to give is better than to receive. Honor your father and mother. Treat one another with respect. Give to the poor because they deserve life just as much as anyone does. Think of others as more valuable than yourself, (stop being so selfish!) Treat others how you want to be treated. Don’t look lustfully at another man or woman. Do not kill others. Their life is valuable. Agape love fights for human life. It refused to give up and it refuses to conform to the pattern of this world. When all hope is lost, agape love remains. No matter how many mistakes a person makes, no matter how many times he or she convinces them self they have gone over the deep end, this tethered love refuses to let go of the object of love (all human race). The only way to lose this love is to reject it. It is impossible to ignore it, because it will never let you go.

(1) 1 John 4:16
(2) 1 Corinthians 4:7
(3) Romans 7:21

Other sources used for inspiration:

http://www.sjchurchofchrist.org/agape.shtml

3:16 The numbers of hope, Written by Max Lucado